Whatever happened to the days of the past?
I often think back and reflect on these things as I ponder my life
Life that brings people in and out of our lives
Laughter that is shared with those same people through experiences with them
You never really notice those whom you’ve had an effect on
Only those you feel you haven’t changed or influenced at all
Ultimately we never understand the scope of people in our lives
Gone are the past, when the experiences we’ve lived shape who we are
Old memories slowly slip into the place where thoughts become nostalgic
Times past are fun to relive, but looking forward is how we should perceive
One slice of our lives we share with one another
Futures often are unclear, sometimes filled with despair, others with hope
Everyone sees things a bit differently but the world continues on
Remembering those important people in our lives
People we love, cherish and honour
With every bit of our existence
Intimately we bring people into our lives
Trusting that God will help bring us happiness through them
Happiness found with those we love are invaluably important to our existence
Meaningful relationships are the things that every person wants deep within
Every person longs for them, and only a lucky few are able to find them
Jumping into something unknown brings excitement
Once someone reaches your heart, they never leave
Reminding us why we go through this mortal existence
Days are hard but these relationships and people bring meaning to our lives
Another reason why it’s important to always press on
Never giving into the despair that looms all around
Don’t ever take for granted important people around
A moment with someone you love can live with us forever
Volition compels us to want to be with these people
Independent of time, when we’re with them we feel at peace
Every worry goes away, as we strive to be better because of them
So what will you make of things with those you love?
The title may be a bit misleading as what I’m trying to accomplish or going through isn’t really impossible per se, rather it’s an obstacle in my path of accomplishing what I want to accomplish in life. A lot of what I’m facing is really personal to me, as in they aren’t things that are influenced by an outside source. At times it really seems impossible to get through but I know that’s just a mental issue that I need to work through by trying to accomplish small things. There are a lot of pressures I feel personally as a writer, a creative, and in general I guess. The thing is that a lot of these pressures I feel are placed upon me by myself because of all the great things I want to accomplish and or become. This leads me to wonder and question a lot whether I am capable of doing such things at all, let along with the help from people around me. I think this is one of the reasons why so many people these days struggle, because of stresses and pressures that are imposed on them from either society or from within as is my case. I haven’t really been too open with everything I’m going through because well it’s just not something I’m used to. Really what is happening is that a lot of the times people such as myself, don’t know how to reach out to others. I’ve been accustomed to the fact that men should be strong willed, and asking for help is a sign of weakness. That isn’t the case by any means, but… maybe these are just excuses as well. I’ve begun to make little changes in my life, doing small things and while I am by no means perfect in everything I’m doing I’m making that effort, slowly but surely.
In any event, my journey over the next few months will be critical in determining my future. No pressure right? Ha!~
Inspired by another blog post written by a good friend of mine, I will periodically share tales from my life.
My first year of university was quite the doozy all those many years ago. I was young, naive and really didn’t want to be in university (that’s a story for another time). Unlike many of my friends in high school whose programs set them up for specific courses to take throughout the year having 8 or 9 courses chosen for them of the necessary 10 to take a full course load for the year, my program was the complete opposite. My friends would say to me “I’m having such a hard time deciding what to take for my one optional course, I have to choose between course A or course B” or something to that effect. I would look at them and think… “so you’re struggling on one optional credit course. interesting…” The reasons I thought this was because A) is it that hard to pick one course? and B) my program gave me a whopping 0 mandatory first year courses to take meaning I had to pick a whopping 10 classes on my own… what did this mean to me? Well it basically meant that I was responsible for my learning. *shudders at the thought of being responsible in university*
So where did this leave me? Well, I read through the course descriptions and felt, hmmm these sound interesting. The only thing I understood at that point were that there were some courses I couldn’t take because I lacked pre-requisite classes. Everything else was fair game. Since I didn’t really know what to take other than my selected major, I focused all my courses on taking courses relevant to my major. Sounds like a smart plan right? Wrong! My program (Philosophy) only offered 2 first year courses related to it. Intro part A and Intro part B. So logically I’d pick other first year courses to ease me into university right? Also wrong! I thought… well since they only offer 2 first year classes, I’ll just take second year classes as well since they don’t need a pre-requisite. Wonderful…
Fast forward to the end of term to exam time. Universities tend to schedule exams in each program year so there aren’t conflicts with people taking those courses. However, what they tend to overlook is sometimes people don’t take courses relative to their program year i.e. me! So here I am, looking through my first exam period schedule to see when my exams are… I’m taking 5 classes, so it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. After writing out the times and dates for each course, I looked down at my paper and thought. Man is university hard. My calmness quickly fled as I noticed there was a commonality among 3 of my exams… They were all on the same day!!!! I thought okay.. you can do this, it can’t get any worse than this right? Wrong again! I then noticed right after the day with 3 exams, the very next morning at 9am was another exam! So at my university they had exam slots of 9am/2pm/7pm every day of exams. So the tally for that exam period was 1st university exam 9am, 2nd university exam 5 hours after at 2pm, 3rd university exam at 7pm, and 4th university exam the very next morning at 9am! For those of you counting at home that’s 4 exams in a 24 hour time frame. Now for experienced university students, this wouldn’t be a problem as they would know to just go petition to change the exam times or have it deferred. But as a lowly university freshman, this was the ultimate test! Not because I wanted to but because I was young and naive and didn’t know I had options.
Needless to say, this was one of the most stressful time if not THE most stressful time in my university career. After that point, I felt the need to share my situation with any other undergrad student who ever complained about their exam schedule being too hard because even to this day of the people I talk with, there has not been an undergrad student who has had a worse exam schedule than me.
In case anyone was wondering, I took quite the beating from those exams but I barely made it out of that exam period alive. Although sometimes I wonder if it was worth it… ~_~
So last night on a random request from a friend… I suppose you can call her a friend, although we barely talk and even so very superficially, I guess she’s somewhere between friend and acquaintance… On the request from my friend, she asked me to talk to her friend last night to cheer her up because she was depressed. Which is a very strange request in general because she essentially asked me to talk to a stranger. I don’t know what prompted me to talk to her but I agreed and then gave this random girl my number. It was kind of strange because it felt like she was interested in a relationship or at least someone to get her mind off of some guy. As the conversation went on she began to express her emotions and why it was that she was so sad or depressed. After talking for a bit, she asked me if I was still a virgin and then responded with shock and surprise after hearing I was. She then proceeded to probe me on this and it was sort of an interesting realization for me. I know that there are many people in their 20’s that are sexually active but it never occurred to me that people who choose to remain separate from the whole world of sexuality would be a minority. I’m probably making all sorts of unnecessary assumptions and have basically generalized the population in saying that being sexually active is just a norm, which I can’t say for sure whether it is or not because it’s one of those topics that while people are more open with in general. As individuals it still seems to be much of a taboo subject to talk about and usually only with your closest friends and definitely not family.
ANYWAYS, back to my point about sexuality and my choice to remain away from it. People make the argument that sex with someone deepens the relationship with another individual and I don’t disagree with this point, however I feel as if people use this excuse to justify having sex with whomever they’re dating or are attracted to at the time. I’m probably very old fashioned in my thoughts and beliefs but I feel that there are many who jump too quickly into this aspect of a relationship. I think the current generation of young adults often acts without thought to consequences, acting on the basis that YOLO solves everything. I hate the term YOLO and its usages in society, more often than not with idiotic actions associated (another topic for another day). While there are benefits with sex, there are a lot of consequences that result as well. I have a friend who had unprotected sex and she got pregnant. She was devastated and ended up getting an abortion because she wasn’t ready to settle down and have a child. She was depressed for several weeks because this is something that is very traumatizing for a woman. This sadly happens more than is necessary because people think about living in the now and not what could happen in the future. I always like the saying, that we can make our choices on how to act, but we can’t choose the consequences of our actions. Much like a rippling of a stone in the water, while our actions may seem small and insignificant, its reach and effects can extend beyond our understanding and scope of life.
I guess my point in writing this post is just to say that as a society and individuals we need to be more aware and conscious that our actions do have consequences (whether good or bad). We should have intelligence licenses, because there really are a lot of people out there who for some reason or another believe that YOLO makes them invincible. That what they do only hurts them and them alone, but there is never any action that has consequences that only affect a single person. I suppose this rant is sort of incoherent because it was written over the course of a week in short bursts of 20 minutes in my children’s literature class. 🙂 Moral of the story – Think before you act and be prepared to deal with the consequences of life. Sex complicates everything. Stop being stupid.
There’s my two cents for today.