Category Archives: Life

Being gracious in all things

I’ve noticed in the past several weeks leading up to and following the election in the United States, two things that I’ve found to be quite ironic as an outcome of the election.

The first idea, being that there have been a large portion of people on either side of the debate prior to the election have called for civility and to put an end to ignorant name calling if their supported candidate won.

Prior to the election, many Democratic supporters of Hillary would suggest that people shouldn’t vote for Donald Trump because he is a racist, sexual predator, whose methods of garnering support have come from name calling and defaming his opponents among other things. These same supporters also suggested that should Hillary win, Trump supporters should graciously accept the result and not protest in response to the outcome, as Trump admittedly stated that did he not win the election, he would have sought to contest the results of the vote.

Conversely, Trump supporters would suggest that people shouldn’t vote for Hillary because she was a murderer, a thief, a liar and was the epitome of evil. Likewise, I believe they felt the same things as the Democrats believing that should their candidate win the election, they should bow out gracefully.

The second idea comes as a result of Donald Trump winning the future presidency. All the calls for civility, name calling have been for naught, and division in the united states have seemed to not only continued but possibly escalated.

There were violent and destructive riots and protests by many who opposed a Trump presidency. These people were in protest out of fear that they felt would come as a result of a presidential candidate that ran a campaign that focused on some racial tensions that have come out of the war in the middle east. Liberal news outlets reported hate crimes that targeted visible minorities and immigrants. People were physically and verbally attacked for their religious beliefs, and the colour of their skin. Fear among these communities were rising as these reports flooded out over social media. These same people called those who voted for Trump ignorant, stupid and a plethora of other names with negative impact.

On the other side of the spectrum, those who supported Trump were excited to say the least, but the decorum that they called for pre-election was still nowhere to be found. They called for civility among the Clinton supporters, and asked that the name calling and mud flinging stop. They felt justified in their decision as their candidate of choice won. However, they did not exhibit any form of graciousness as they did exactly what they sought the the other side to stop doing. Thousands of posts on social media are vilifying those who supported Clinton, calling them ignorant, unintelligent, cry babies for not “graciously” accepting their defeat. The irony here is that there is need to be gracious not only in defeat but in victory as well.

I admit at the beginning of this post I had a clear direction of where I wanted to go with this, but as I’ve been writing and have begun to think through my points, the more directions I want to take this. So I’ll, try my best to sum up why I started this post to begin with.

There are  high tensions due in part to Liberal and Conservative media outlets. People go to the respective news source looking not for truth, or opinions that oppose their views but to find affirmation of what they already believe. They find exactly that in all the “articles” they read from their respective media outlets. The “truth” they want to find is all there in black and white. What many fail to see beyond this truth is that there are people involved. So wrapped up in being right, that people fail to see the reasoning behind all the protests, name calling and lack of civility. Millions of liberal/democrats are hurt and afraid and they want to know that their world will be safe, but they don’t get that sense of security from the conservative/republican side. All they have gotten were things like “suck it up, you lost”, “protests show your intelligence” and other hurtful things that have fueled their actions. Many conservatives now have a sense of pride from winning, but in doing so have over looked the fact that the other side is experiencing these feelings of hurt, fear and sadness.

While I can only offer what I would suggest to be a call for more graciousness and civility in all things, I doubt my influence or audience would be wide enough to make a change. People will continue to be persecuted for their beliefs, called ignorant for what they feel they know, and vilified for standing up for their own good. This makes me as an individual sad for our collective existence of humanity.While I know this article does not represent all democrats/republicans, or liberals/conservatives, it does represent the loudest voice among those same groups. While they may be the minority, sitting back and allowing these things to happen is (although cliche to say so) just as bad as saying them yourself. We need to remember that there are people out there who need love, who need to feel safe, who need to know that their opinions aren’t ignored and heard. While we may disagree with what the other side said, we need to be civil in how we listen to each other, how we work with one another, so that we may move forward in building up a future we can all be proud of.

I’m probably too idealistic in thinking this, but I will do my best to listen to those who need someone to listen to and spread as much love as I can within my area of influence.

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Life Away From Home

It’s been over half a year since I last blogged so here’s a quick-ish update, since I last wrote, I moved from Toronto to Edmonton and well here’s the rest of the update.

In the past month or so, I’ve been living away from home for pretty much the first time in life. While this may not seem like a big deal for many, for me this was a really big step. My decision to move was made quickly but something I was thinking about for a long time. As the move happened, my excitement rose. I was in a place with new things to explore and experience. I had a job interview for a job prospect that seemed great and exciting. I had settled into my new place and everything was going well. Two weeks in and things were moving along smoothly. Now having had a lot of ups and downs in my life, I’ve noticed one constant being that if things are going well things will inevitably go wrong.

I’ll start with work, or lack thereof. I got a job with an organization that does fundraising for non-profit organizations. My role was specifically “fundraiser”, pretty straight forward, nothing too complicated just ask people to donate. Seems easy enough right? Not really. I’m not quite sure this is the case. If you ever wanted a job where you feel ignored, invisible, and definitely overlooked, this is the job for you. The booth where I work is positioned in front of a Jack Jones store, and I swear it’s the most interesting store in the mall. The reason why I say that is because whenever people walk by my booth at the mall, they see us and then get entranced by Jack Jones. Their eyes just get fixated on to that store, as if it has them locked in a hypnotic trance and they can’t look away from it or they’d die. I’ll probably write more but back to my original reason for writing about work is as followed.

Just as soon as I started working, my campaign coordinator came up to me the second day on the job and told me that the hours would be limited as they would be losing part of their campaign at my specific location. This was an unexpected setback but I was still optimistic about this job.

I have been very blessed to have girlfriend who has been very supportive of me in everything that I’ve been going through, but it seems like I’ve been getting dumped on by life. About 3 weeks ago, I was subjected to the most intense pain I’ve ever had in my life. After struggling to find help, I eventually got to the hospital and was diagnosed with kidney stones. Also another story to be told there in another post.

Life away from home has not been the bed of roses I had expected and I am hopeful that things will get better because that’s what always happens for the protagonist in any story right? In my narrative I am the protagonist but maybe my perspective on things are skewed and I’m actually the anti-hero or even antagonist meant to suffer to get through the story that is my life. Who knows, but I do feel more inspired to blog more, so lets see how long this lasts.

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Filed under Boring, Life

I’m a mess

I often  wonder why we meet the people we do. I will be incredibly genuine and candid about what I’m feeling right now. I feel really lost, really confused and I feel like complete heap of emotions. I never really understood that feeling when people say they’re sick to their stomach, they’ve experienced a heartache so bad it hurt physically or even crying till you have no more tears to cry. That was the case until tonight.

I’m in love, and being in love is great. But it’s a double edged sword because the greatest highs come with the potential greatest lows. I’ve hurt the one I love because I’m irresponsible with myself, and those around me. I can’t manage my life let alone hope to be with someone who has direction in life. Wandering through life is tough, and most people manage to stumble and get through with a few bumps or bruises. I on the other  hand have come to a standstill, my life has no direction. I see several goals and places where I want to be, but I’m crippled by options and choice. I’m here writing because it’s my refuge, my space, where I can just let my feelings out. My writing here in inconsequential to the grand scheme of life, as most things I do are. But some things I do, have significant impact on others. I question myself constantly and wonder why it is that I can’t manage to do even the smallest things that will lead somewhere, the path seems so simple. Just walk down it. It’s brightly lit, with guide posts along the way. Yet here I am, unable to do it.

I can only watch as she continues on down the path, one day I will catch up to where she is now. It might be too late by that time, for diamonds are often the ones that get snatched up by those who notice it as more than just a rock. I don’t know, I’m still reeling from what happened. I feel sadness, I feel confusion, I feel lost, and I know it’s no one’s fault but mine. The pain is starting to dissipate, or maybe I’m just numb to everything I’m feeling, probably the latter as I feel intense grips at my heart whenever I think about anything.

I need to figure out my life before I can bring anyone else along for the ride. I know a love like this won’t go away, nor do I want it to. I deserve this hurt and pain I feel and that’s all I know at this point…

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Filed under Life, Love, Uncategorized

What does it mean?

Whatever happened to the days of the past?
I often think back and reflect on these things as I ponder my life
Life that brings people in and out of our lives
Laughter that is shared with those same people through experiences with them

You never really notice those whom you’ve had an effect on
Only those you feel you haven’t changed or influenced at all
Ultimately we never understand the scope of people in our lives

Gone are the past, when the experiences we’ve lived shape who we are
Old memories slowly slip into the place where thoughts become nostalgic

Times past are fun to relive, but looking forward is how we should perceive
One slice of our lives we share with one another

Futures often are unclear, sometimes filled with despair, others with hope
Everyone sees things a bit differently but the world continues on
Remembering those important people in our lives
People we love, cherish and honour

With every bit of our existence
Intimately we bring people into our lives
Trusting that God will help bring us happiness through them
Happiness found with those we love are invaluably important to our existence

Meaningful relationships are the things that every person wants deep within
Every person longs for them, and only a lucky few are able to find them

Jumping into something unknown brings excitement
Once someone reaches your heart, they never leave
Reminding us why we go through this mortal existence
Days are hard but these relationships and people bring meaning to our lives
Another reason why it’s important to always press on
Never giving into the despair that looms all around

Don’t ever take for granted important people around
A moment with someone you love can live with us forever
Volition compels us to want to be with these people
Independent of time, when we’re with them we feel at peace
Every worry goes away, as we strive to be better because of them
So what will you make of things with those you love?
?

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Overcoming the impossible

The title may be a bit misleading as what I’m trying to accomplish or going through isn’t really impossible per se, rather it’s an obstacle in my path of accomplishing what I want to accomplish in life. A lot of what I’m facing is really personal to me, as in they aren’t things that are influenced by an outside source. At times it really seems impossible to get through but I know that’s just a mental issue that I need to work through by trying to accomplish small things. There are a lot of pressures I feel personally as a writer, a creative, and in general I guess. The thing is that a lot of these pressures I feel are placed upon me by myself because of all the great things I want to accomplish and or become. This leads me to wonder and question a lot whether I am capable of doing such things at all, let along with the help from people around me. I think this is one of the reasons why so many people these days struggle, because of stresses and pressures that are imposed on them from either society or from within as is my case. I haven’t really been too open with everything I’m going through because well it’s just not something I’m used to. Really what is happening is that a lot of the times people such as myself, don’t know how to reach out to others. I’ve been accustomed to the fact that men should be strong willed, and asking for help is a sign of weakness. That isn’t the case by any means, but… maybe these are just excuses as well. I’ve begun to make little changes in my life, doing small things and while I am by no means perfect in everything I’m doing I’m making that effort, slowly but surely.

In any event, my journey over the next few months will be critical in determining my future. No pressure right? Ha!~

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Boring dates

It’s probably one of the best descriptions of a boring date I’ve heard in my recent past. This conversation with a friend about her latest date went as follows:

Her: “We talked about hobbies and stuff”
Me: “oh”
Her: “ummm… he liked watching cnn, and tried jogging once”
Me: “he tried that once?”
Her: “and used to like watching sports”
Me: “why are all these past tense?… he used to like doing these things… does that mean he got bored of doing those boring things so he ran out of boring things to do?”
Her: “Because now he likes to do nothing”

While this amused me, it left me to think about my life and what i find to be interesting. What makes interesting interesting, and what makes boring well.. boring? I don’t think there is an absolute scale of interesting vs boring where some things are interesting independent of everything and other things are just boring. There will always be someone who enjoys some things while other people hate it for every thing we find in life. It’s all about perspective and life experience. I wouldn’t necessarily I live the most fun filled life, but it’s about my outlook and how I perceive my life. Am I living the life of fun and adventure I had believed my life to be when I was a kid? No not at all. Not even remotely close. Do I enjoy my life on the whole? Of course, and it’s precisely that attitude towards life that becomes desirable to others. People have come up to me a lot over the past few years and have commented how they think I live the life. They’re jealous of how I have all the fun in the world, travelling here and there, or I’m always going on adventures. But to me, my life is just plain, I make the most of what I have and I just have a positive outlook on my life. It can also be one of those the grass is greener on the other side sorts of things. I’m not entirely sure. I do know that I’ve had my share of boring dates myself, but I enjoyed the company I was with, so yeah we didn’t do anything extraordinary. More often than not the simplest things allow you to get to know someone the best. So while this guy my friend went on a date with was probably immensely boring to her, that’s because he didn’t make his life seem interesting and he didn’t know how to make the most of everything he had. Or maybe he did his best and was just a plain old boring date.

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Filed under adventure, Advice, Boring, Conversations, Dating, Interesting, Life, Love

How not to go about finding the one… Or finding A one.

I’ll preface what I say with this quote from President Ezra Taft Benson:

“Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities.

“Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion.

“And one good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53).

As YSA sometimes we focus too much on trying to find that Disney ideal of prince charming or finding your princess on the first date. There are many people I’ve gone on dates with that have many qualities that are important to me and for one reason or another I haven’t been able to commit to anything beyond a first or second date. I realized why this has been a case because of some experiences I’ve had lately.

The first reason why I haven’t been able to connect or commit to anyone I’ve dated in the past while has been because I was always expecting some perfect situation where there would be sparks and things would just fit. This unrealistic standard was unfair to many of the people I went on dates with. While I had fun on each of my dates and there was definitely room for the relationship to grow. My unwillingness to recognize the potential for a great relationship in them was a huge stumbling block for me.

The second reason why is because I had a positive view of my own self-worth (pride). I will always be the last to admit it, even if I am very aware of it, but I am often very prideful. What I mean is that I often feel that because I have such great qualities I think that any girl would want to date me (at least that’s what happens in my head). This way of thinking is unhealthy to me and those I date because I evaluate them on a scale based on how I see myself, to see if they measure up to what my “standard” is. In retrospect I believe that many of those whom I terminated relationships with are much better than I am. To avoid being overly self deprecating I’ll leave it at that.

The third reason why I haven’t been able to connect with anyone is because I didn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. I was always closed off and kept myself in a safe secure place emotionally. While you might not think this is bad, to protect yourself from harm and being hurt emotionally. This type of behavior doesn’t allow anyone to enter emotionally either. I equate this to being in a castle with friendly visitors wanting to enter but not letting down the draw bridge. I know the reference is antiquated, much like a draw bridge requires work done to open it, for a budding relationship work too must be done for it to grow into something deeper. When I did this, these girls I dated were literally at the door waiting for me to open up and let them in. My actions effectively closed the door to progress in a relationships before it had any chance.

There are a lot of other things that I have discovered about myself over the course of the past few years with regards to dating. One of take homes from my minimal life experience is to just take risks, put yourself out there and don’t be afraid of rejection. I have been rejected more times by myself before I have even given others the chance to accept or reject me.

Is this a sure fire guide to relationship success of course not, I’m single. If it were then I wouldn’t be single. I still have things to learn, but most importantly I will be moving forward with what I have experienced and putting myself out there. Wish me luck guys.

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Filed under Advice, Dating, Life, Love